Link Has A LOT To Deal With
by FadingSunlight
Summary: Many strange things happen in the world of Legend of Zelda. This just has some one-shots of Link's reactions to them. Featuring cows, rude people, rupees, and odd items.
1. Guards are Stupid(Twilight Princess)

**AUTHOR'S NOTE: Heh, Link never really got along with the guards. In Twilight Princess, they do threaten to stab you in wolf form… Well, if you enter the town in wolf form and terrify the civilians enough.**

 **DISCLAIMER: I most certainly do not own the Legend of Zelda. If I did, it would be called the Legend of Link, because we do not follow Zelda's story.**

"Halt! You do not have permission to enter!"

"…Do you really think that twig is going to stop me? Do you even know who you're talking to?"

"This is a spear, not a twig! And I know for a fact that you aren't an important person, just by looking at your clothes, _peasant._ I could throw you in jail for insulting a guard, so watch your mouth."

"…You really don't know who I am. You're an idiot. How have you not been informed? Oh, and throwing me in jail wouldn't accomplish a thing, because either the Princess would get me out or I would escape."

"How have I not been informed of what?! And there's no way the Princess would bother with scum like you!"

"Dude, I'm the Hero. And did you not hear me before? I can escape from the cells too."

"Wh-what?! YOU'RE the HERO?! Impossible! There's no way a twig is the hero!"

"…Seriously, none of the heroes have been massive guys. Where did you get that idea? Oh, dang it, you made me late for the meeting! Now the Princess is going to expect me to tell her why I was late! Well, since you were the reason, I guess you're going to prison. Have fun with that. The cells are super comfy, I'm sure you'll like it down there."

"WAIT, DON'T TAKE ME THERE! I'LL DIE!"

"Oh, don't worry about that. I didn't die, so you won't…probably. The Princess is very picky about when meetings are…"

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"


	2. When Pumpkins Fly(Twilight Princess)

**AUTHOR'S NOTE: Have fun with this one. Nothing better than a freaked out Link, right? By the way, the pumpkin thing is done by throwing a pumpkin at the very edge of the Ordon creek next to the arched bridge.**

 **DISCLAIMER: I definitely do not own the Legend of Zelda, and I never will. It's pretty unlikely for anybody on this site to own it.**

Link stared blankly at the pumpkin. This was not supposed to happen. It did not make any sense. There was no way for pumpkins to float by themselves, much less disappear. Pumpkins did not disappear into walls, or float just because he threw them in the river in a weird way. Well, he supposed it wasn't the first time something strange had happened to him. There was that time where he accidently fell off a ledge in the Water Temple, and managed to skip an entire room…though he did have to go into the skipped room to get the boss key. Falling that far wasn't fun…for him at least. Midna thought it was hilarious. Speaking of Midna, she was currently trying to get his attention.

"Link! Link? Hello, anybody home?"

"What? What is it?"

"Well, I was _trying_ to tell you that it was a prank."

"Tell me that _what_ was a prank?"

"Ugh, the _floating pumpkin_ over there is what I'm talking about. Seriously, it was a _joke!_ "

Link could tell by her expression that it was _not_ one of her pranks, but decided against pointing it out. Who knew how she would react if she knew that he knew it wasn't her magic causing the pumpkin to float?

"Oh, _that's_ why! Okay, one less thing to worry about!"

"You're such an idiot. Of all the people that could have been the sacred beast…"

Yes, he knew that not telling her was a good idea. She would freak out externally too if he said anything. Midna was already doing that internally. Nobody needs an insane Midna near them, much less Link, considering he was traveling with her.


	3. Crazy People and Emotions(Skyward Sword)

**AUTHOR'S NOTE: I've decided that this will be a series of one-shots of Link and his reactions to certain things. Most will happen in the world of Twilight Princess. Please send me ideas of what to put, and know that reviews are appreciated. You don't realize how amazing they are until you're a writer.**

 **DISCLAIMER: I do not own Link, or Zelda, or the Legend of Zelda. I also do not own a horse, clawshots, or a harp.**

* * *

Sometimes, Link really wondered why he always had to deal with the insane people. On Skyloft, he had to deal with Peatrice, Groose and his buddies, and a bunch of weirdos who lived there (Yes, I'm talking about you Zelda. Normal people don't push each other off ledges.). Down below, on the surface, multiple people thought he was a monster even though there weren't that many green ones. There was also an insane lady named Impa, who thought it was his fault that he was late to save Zelda. Excuse him; he had to go through an entire dungeon! It wasn't like he could cheat and jump over everything! And that wasn't even taking into account all of the monsters in the way! Last but definitely not least, there was Ghirahim. He was the weirdest one he'd had the misfortune of meeting. The way he spoke, the way he acted when he had only _just met_ Link… Well, Link was very disturbed by that demon.

Really, considering all of this, it was a wonder that Link wasn't insane…completely. If he was totally sane, he probably wouldn't jump off a floating island hundreds of miles in the air, and wouldn't have accepted the quest given to him. If he was really sane, he would have given up a couple hundred miles ago. But no, he kept going, and he hoped that Zelda really appreciated all the trouble he went through for her.

* * *

Put bluntly, he was a bit mad. He went through all this trouble, and Zelda-no, Hylia, told him that it was just so he could know that she was going to take a little nap…for a THOUSAND YEARS! As the icing on the cake, she also said that he was using him! She was SO lucky that he didn't hold grudges against people who were or had been his friends. Even now, as he was thinking of this, he could feel the anger and shock wearing away to sadness, and worry over the napping friend-no, goddess.

* * *

Dang it, Ghirahim! He _just_ managed to crush Demise and wake Zelda/Hylia up, and now that stupid demon snatched her to awaken his master in the past! Now Link was more than irritated, he was MAD. And every single time Link was really, truly mad, bad things happened to the one who made him that way. The last time he was even close to this level, it was due to Groose and his "buddies". The jerks made some comments about Link's missing family, and let's just say that the bully was in the infirmary for a few days. Of course, Groose forgot about the incident completely in a week, and went straight back to his usual ways.

Now, Link was even angrier than that time, and Ghirahim was his target. NOBODY took his friends as sacrifices and got away with it

Needless to say, Ghirahim wasn't feeling very good by the end of the day, and Zelda was saved. Demise also wasn't at his best, because he was the reason Ghirahim did what he did.


	4. Revenge on Midna!(Twilight Princess)

**AUTHOR'S NOTE: Man, I don't know where I get these ideas. Well, it's just a little thing of Link having clawshot issues, Midna being…Midna, and Link getting revenge via spinner. I'd say it's pretty in-character, considering how Midna acts towards Link throughout the game.**

 **DISCLAIMER: Ha, you think** _ **I**_ **own LoZ? Don't make me laugh!**

* * *

Link stared blankly at the clawshot. "How the heck am I supposed to use this thing?"

Midna exited his shadow. "Is there a button or something inside it? Hurry up, little wolf, you're wasting time."

Link grumbled under his breath, thinking that if she knew so much, she should try using it. He then stuck his hand in the glove-like part, and felt around for any buttons. Before he knew it, a long chain was shooting out. Unfortunately for him, it connected to a wall.

"AHHHHHHHH-" was all he got out before slamming into it.

"Midna," he hissed, "You could have warned me!"

"Aww, is the little wolf angry? It's no fun to tell you things like that. Anyway, how would I have known? It's not like I've ever seen one of these before… Well, not one of your Light Realm's ones at least. They're surprisingly similar."

"MIDNA!" Link wasn't happy at all.

"Heh heh heh! See you later!" She then hid in his shadow.

* * *

Now was the time for revenge. Link would get her back for that time with the clawshot. Finally, after _months_ of waiting for the perfect time (bit of an exaggeration, but oh well), he could do something to her, here in the Arbiter's Grounds. "Hey Midna, get over here!"

"What is it, Link?"

"Can you figure out the spinner? I don't know how to use it, and I've tried tons of times to make it work…"

"Sure!"

Link watched with glee as she stood on it, and it randomly activated.

"LIIIIIIINK! MAKE IT STOOOP!"

"Sweet, sweet victory," he chortled, as he watched her spinning out of control, running into everything in sight.


	5. What?(Majora's Mask)

**AUTHOR'S NOTE: Hello people, and welcome to this new thing. It's called not thinking about weird stuff. There's lots of that in Legend of Zelda games, and we need to avoid thinking about it before hurting ourselves. Also, I have played Majora's Mask, and I've gotten every single mask, every heart piece, and found every single fairy. I think I know what I'm talking about.**

 **DISCLAIMER: I think I'm getting better at this fanfiction stuff… Anyways, I don't own the Legend of Zelda. Never have, never will.**

* * *

How was this even possible? Well, Link didn't really know. The moon definitely should not be preparing to crush the entire world in 3 days. The moon should also not have a perfectly peaceful field with a little tree in the middle of it. Really, a lot of things about the moon didn't make sense. How could a tiny little mask _possess_ a massive moon and make it grin creepily? …Link decided he really didn't want to know.

However, he did want to know how the land around the clock tower was shaped in a circle. It wasn't natural. There was a lot of stuff around Termina that wasn't natural. Like little chickens suddenly growing up due to him playing a certain song, or getting masks that made him look like dead people… Wow, he didn't really realize how messed up that was until he thought about it. And he made others think he really _was_ the previously mentioned dead person! That was almost worse…almost.

Another thing he didn't get was the Takkuri bird. Why did that thing need his weapons? How the heck did it get 200 rupees? Maybe some things were to just be accepted, not thought of. This was probably one of those cases…

Unlike the Real Bomchus. Seriously, who thought that attaching a bomb to a rat's tail was a good idea? Plus, they were insane little things with rabies, and you could tell just by looking at them.

And going back to the stealing Takkuri bird, why were there so many thieves in Termina? There was also Sakon, the jerk who tried to steal from a little old lady, and attempted to steal Link's sword too. Oh yeah, and who _prances_ away after stealing something? Apparently that weirdo.

Link wasn't even going to _start_ on Tingle. Too many things were wrong with him. He had a strange saying, floated with red balloons, and appeared _everywhere._ What could you say about someone like that? Nothing, that's what.

Hmm, what was left to think about…? Oh yeah, the masks that Link acquired throughout his travels. Some of the creepiest ones were probably the Fierce Deity's mask, and the All-Night mask. Of course, the earlier one was partially due to the fact that _Majora_ gave it to him. A mask gave him a mask. You know what; maybe Link should stop thinking about things like this before he hurt himself. Yeah, that's a good idea.


	6. Mixture Chap(Twilight Princess mainly)

**AUTHOR'S NOTE: Okay then, spoilers for TP (which is in the 2** **nd** **part of the 2** **nd** **part), and I have no idea what world the first part is in. Maybe Link Between Worlds? That's what it was intended for, but it didn't really…work.**

 **DISCLAIMER: I own nothing. NOTHING, N-o-t-h-i-n-g, got it?**

* * *

Where in the world was he supposed to go?! His map literally told him nothing, other than the fact that he had multiple places to go to.

 _Thanks a lot you stupid map. Your help_ _ **so**_ _appreciated._

What temple was he supposed to go to first? What items would he need? How many arrows were necessary to get the job done?

The answer is…

TAKE ALL YOU CAN, AND EXPECT EVERYTHING!

…Or so he thought. Really, what does one take to a _fire_ temple? Half of the things he could take would just burn up! Unless, of course, he actually _wanted_ his arrows to catch fire. But then again, who could guarantee that the place would actually _have_ fire? What if the name was misleading, like Iceland and Greenland! …Not that he actually knew what those places were.

Okay, he was just going to take as many arrows as possible. If they caught fire, they caught fire. There wasn't much he could do. If they didn't, he was lucky, and could use them on a few monsters.

* * *

 **2** **nd** **PART!**

 **THIS IS COMPLETELY UNRELATED TO THAT!*points up***

Entering the cannon was a mistake.

Why did he ever agree to go along with this? He knew it would end up with him falling to the ground eventually. After all, what goes up, has to come down eventually. He just didn't expect to come down this fast. The sand was coming up in his view, and he just _knew_ that he'd have some stuck in his stupid tunic that everyone mistook for a dress. Maybe Midna would have mercy on his poor, poor soul and turn him into a wolf so he could at least shake the sand off.

… _Or not_ , he thought, as he spat some sand out. The landing hurt more than expected.

"Midna, I think I broke something."

"Stop whining and get up already. You'll live."

* * *

After the oh-so-shocking reveal that Midna was a Twili (because it wasn't obvious _at all_ ), Link thought he was through with the revelations. Of course, that was before he was told that she was the real Twilight Princess.

He'd brushed off her joke about Zelda being the Twilight Princess before, but now he realized the full irony of it.

Now he was focused on the mirror. It was time to get Zant. The usurper deserved a good beating, for what he did to Hyrule, Link's friends, Link, and most of all, for what he took from Midna.


	7. Four Parts(2 TP, 1WW, 1 other)

**AUTHOR'S NOTE: The actual words equal 1000 exactly. There are four sections in this one, two are TP, one is WW, and I don't remember what the other is from. You should recognize it regardless. The first one is something I've had on my mind for a while, and there is a HTTYD reference in it. You'll know it when you see it. It's pretty obvious; I just changed one word to fit more. It wouldn't have made sense if I didn't do that.**

 **DISCLAIMER: You know what; I'm not even bothering this time. I can guarantee you know what this is anyway. It's funny how we're not required to put these, but still do just so nobody will accuse us writers of stealing something. Yeah, it's not in the rules we have to abide by. If you didn't notice/know, there it is. Right up there. Yes, I'm pointing at it…in my mind.**

* * *

Currently, Epona was running towards a cliff. Currently, Link was trying (and failing) to stop her.

"Nonononono! Epona don't go that way!"

Unfortunately for Link, she simply would not stop. The close call with a Lizalfos terrified the poor thing, and she couldn't hear her master over her own fearful cries. So, she went over the cliff. On the way down, Link said: "Thanks for nothing, you useless animal."

By the time he finished his sentence, they reached the ground. Needless to say, the ground wasn't very forgiving to the horse or Hylian…

* * *

"It's dangerous to go alone. Take this."

Link appreciated the sword, but that still didn't solve his issue of loneliness. He told the elderly man just that.

"Well, I'm just an old person. I don't want to be a burden. You do realize just how slowly us old people move, right?"

Yes, Link did know that, but it still didn't solve his problem. Why didn't he get a companion? All the other heroes got one, so why was he the exception?

"You're the exception because the game creators couldn't think of a good companion."

Tilting his head in confusion, Link asked the old man what that meant.

"Oh, you don't know? There are these people who-"

The old man was interrupted by the sound of an explosion.

"Oh man, the fourth wall again. Someone go fix it already! We don't need those…creatures," here he shudders, "getting in again. I bet if they get in again, they'll be flying _and_ have tails this time!"*

He was proved right when the flying, tailed spiders flew in. Screaming was heard both inside and outside the cave. Link just stood in confusion and wondered what the heck was going on.

* * *

After being thrown by a supermassive beaked bird, Link thought he was done with craziness and ridiculous pirates. Then he woke up to the talking boat. He wasn't sure why it talked, but he appreciated it saving him. That said, he couldn't help but wonder how it managed to get him _inside_ said boat, and how it managed to get to him before he drowned. The thing didn't have sails, so how did it reach him in time? Was it waiting for him at that specific spot? Did it know his mission would end in failure? He just didn't know.

So, he was determined to find out.

As it turned out, the boat was also very determined to not tell him. So, he had to resort to other tactics…such as holding his breath until it told him. Apparently, the talking boat didn't care if he died, because it let him pass out.

Sometimes he really wondered if that thing even had emotions. It certainly didn't have morals. Who sent a 12 year-old kid out to save the world? Sure, an adult would probably have issues fitting in the boat, but they could just build another bigger one, right? And just have the smaller, talking boat there as a rowboat.

When he woke up after passing out, he tried again to get the stupid boat to tell him something.

It still wouldn't spill the beans. Stupid, determined boat.

* * *

Occasionally, Link asked about his origins. None of the Ordonians knew, and they always told him that Rusl just found him and Epona sleeping in the woods. They never told him if he was found injured, or what specific area of Faron they found him in. But he knew. He knew that he had arrived with more than a few bruises, and that he'd been near the bird's shop deep in the forest. He at least knew that much, despite not being told. He didn't remember his parents, his village, _anything_ about his life before Ordon. The only other real bits of information he remembered were his name, his mother calling out to him before abruptly stopping, the fact that he was 8 when he came to Ordon, and that Epona was _his_ horse.

It was only when he was 16 that he realized that a village had been decimated by bandits around the time he got to Ordon, and that those bandits had a thing for knocking kids out and leaving them alone in the middle of nowhere. He also realized that sometimes being hit too hard in the head could cause amnesia. All but 5 bodies from the village had been accounted for, and all of them were children. It wasn't hard to connect the dots.

Link had been one of those children.

When he was absolutely sure of this, he went to Rusl, and asked to be taken to the remains of the village. Naturally, he had been horrified by this request, but Link had to know…and maybe remember. Link couldn't go by himself, because he had no clue where the old village was (and he wasn't sure if he could handle being alone in it).

After a few hours of riding, they arrived. They found charred walls and skeletons, and nothing else. Link stood still on the burnt ground, then collapsed. The memories of _that_ night returned.

He remembered the screaming, the terror, the smoke, and the fire. He remembered his mother yelling his name before being struck down by a cloaked figure. He recalled running to the stables, crying, and getting on Epona. He recalled being knocked off her back, being hit in the head by…something, getting back up on his horse, and then nothing.

There was nothing else. By then he'd already forgotten most of what happened, due to the trauma of it and being hit in the head. So Link stayed on the ground, crying, and looked at Rusl.

That look was confirmation of Rusl's fears. Confirmation that Link really _was_ from the village. With a heavy heart, he gave his adopted son a hug, heaved Link and himself onto their respective horses, and left the blackened houses behind.

Link never returned to his old village, even after happier memories of a much simpler time came back.

* * *

 **OTHER AUTHOR'S NOTE: *It's a reference to another author's note I've made on another fanfic. If you want to know what fanfic it is, it's Remembering, not Knowing in the Phineas and Ferb section. If you like that amazing/adorable cartoon (mostly due to Perry), go ahead and check it out. Doo-bee doo-bee doooo-be, doo-be doo-be doo-be dooooo-ba A-GENT P!**


	8. Wrong Time(Twilight Princess)

**AUTHOR'S NOTE: Okay, I just came up with this as I went… So, yeah. Another TP one, dealing with time travel going wrong.**

 **DISCLAIMER: I own nothing. There you go. Meh.**

* * *

How did he get in these situations? Sometimes, Link didn't know. This was one of those times. He was just messing with time, like other heroes did. He just tried to enter the past Temple of Time, but obviously something went wrong. Instead of going _back_ in time, he went _forward_! The portal was _supposed_ to go to the distant past, but instead led him to the distant future! Now he had to find a way to get to his time, because the door portal was broken! Obviously nobody ever thought of fixing up the old Temple of Time, as it was even _more_ broken down than before.

Midna chose that time to pop out of his shadow. For a moment, she just looked around in shock, and then said, "We're not in Hyrule anymore, Link."

He shot her a look that clearly said ' _no, really? I had no idea!'_ Midna simply ignored this, and proceeded to float around and examine the now _very_ old structure.

"I think we went a thousand years ahead in time… So there's probably another hero running around. We could find them and get their help…"

Link nodded, and began walking, as Midna's portals had disappeared.

"Link, you still have a faster way of getting around." She giggled as she threw the Cursed Stone at him. He had no time to react, and was promptly turned into a wolf. The two then set off to find the new hero…

* * *

"Hey, there's a horse over there! It looks like Epona…" She trailed off as they both remembered that Epona wasn't in this Hyrule.

"Go Link! That might be the other hero's horse!" Sure, that was grasping at straws, but it was a possibility.

Link ran towards the standing horse…in his wolf form…

At first, the Epona look-alike reared. Link told the mare that he didn't want to eat her, and she calmed down. _Do you know someone who's blond, and wears a green tunic?_

 _Yes, do you need to talk to him?_

 _Yeah, it's kinda important…_

 _Okay, just wait here. He'll be coming around in a few seconds… What's your name?_

 _Link, and what's yours?_

 _Oh, you have the same name as my master! And my name is Epona!_

Link gave Midna a look then, which said ' _I found him, and my horse.'_

She offered him a surprised expression, and wondered just how much luck they had.

* * *

About ten minutes later, the other Link returned from whatever he was doing to find a wolf standing _five feet_ from _his horse._ He, understandably, freaked out. "Epona, get away from that wolf!" He also brandished his sword that was definitely _not_ the Master Sword.

The wolf in question then turned into a human, right in front of Link.

He was, understandably, freaked out, and fainted.

* * *

"Do you think he's alright?"

"Oh, he's fine, he _is_ a Link."

"…That's not really a good answer…"

"Deal with it."

This is what the future Link regained consciousness to. He didn't really understand what was going on.

"Oh, he's awake. Hi, sorry to freak you out like that…"

Link kept staring blankly. Why did that guy look so much like him? Why did that guy just transform from a wolf to a Hylian… Oh yeah, he forgot about that.

"Who are you? Why were you a wolf?"

"Well, I was a wolf because of a cursed rock, and the first question is more difficult to answer… Well, I'm the hero from a thousand years ago. I'm Link."

The other Link stared in shock at that, then confusion. "Why are you here then? Shouldn't you be…dead, or something?"

"Well, there was a slight time portal issue… And we need your help to get back to our time."

"Wait a minute, 'we'? Who else is here?"

"Heh heh heh! I am!"

"Whoa!" He jumped as an imp-like thing came out of the other hero's shadow.

"Well, are we going or not?"

"Uh, yeah… I already found a portal to a thousand years in the past, so I'll take you there. Can you transform into a wolf…?"

The other Link nodded, and turned into a wolf.

"Does it hurt to transform?"

The now-lupine Link kind of shrugged, basically saying that it sometimes did.

"Huh…Okay, let's go."

So the strange group set off, to a place only the horse and Hylian knew of.


	9. Hey, Listen!(TP, SS, X-Over Both)

**AUTHOR'S NOTE: Hello good turtles-I mean people! Unless, of course, you are actually a very intelligent turtle that is in fact reading this… Meh. I present to you a 1,000 word chapter, comprised of three separate parts. First, Twilight Princess, second, Skyward Sword, third, a crossover between the two. On a completely different note, sorry to you people for not updating sooner, I just didn't have the drive. I also didn't have the time (for the most part), due to my parents deciding, 'Hey, let's plan two 5 day trips right next to each other! Oh, the first one ended in failure? Maybe the next will be better! Oh, sorry, the docks at the lake you're camping at? Well, they're sort of…not in the water at the moment… Yeah, the lake going to just be a big puddle full of weeds soon. Oh well!' I think you get the idea. Thus dubbed, the summer of horrible, ridiculous luck. (Or, if you prefer, the Summer of Bad Luck.) I only really put this up because I'm in a good mood, due to my Grandpa just getting out of the hospital. Even though he's a little…outspoken…I still love the old guy. Man, this is the longest A/N I've ever made! Whoops.**

 **UNNECESSARY RIDICULOUS IRRITATING POINTLESS DISCLAIMER: What? Me, own LoZ? What sort of drugs are you on, exactly?**

* * *

What in Farore's name was going on?! He kept tripping on _everything_. Even the _air_. So Link had to find out just _what the heck_ was happening. Even if it killed him (which was remarkably likely).

It was only when he heard that accursed giggle that he understood. _Oh, you have no idea what you just got yourself into, Midna._ Link was going to get her back, one way or another…

So, it when they eventually returned to his Hyrule (previous chapter), that he began to enact his revenge. "Hey Midna, I want to be a wolf again."

"Why?" She asked, with a suspicious look.

"Oh, I just want to look around, to check what was wrong with the time portal…"

Midna sighed. "Fine, but don't take too long. We still have to get rid of Zant!"

Apparently, Midna was convinced by his innocent expression. Link wasn't sure if that meant that his acting skills were great, or that she simply wasn't paying attention… Oh well. He wasn't going to question it. After all, very _very_ bad things happened when he started questioning things too much.

Naturally, bad things happened to Midna when she too…when she tripped him. About fifty times.

Obviously, he was going to get payback. And if it happened in the form of him jumping in an unnoticed pool of water near the Temple of Time… Well, nobody would blame him for that. Except maybe Midna, but she had it coming.

* * *

Why in the world did he decide that going to the surface with no backup was a good idea? Within moments of his arrival, it was obvious that finding Zelda was going to be nearly impossible! Seriously, the area below the clouds was _massive_ , not to mention that he had no idea where Zelda could have landed!

 _Well,_ he thought, _it's too late to go back now._ It was then that he realized he had no way to get back _up_ to the sky. _No no no nonononononono! Dang it, how the heck am I supposed to get back up there?!_ He was stuck down there, with no way to get back up, no way to get supplies, no way to get home… _Home,_ he thought. _I have to get back to tell the others what's going on eventually. But if I'm cut off from them, how in the world am I going to-_

"Master Link, sources indicate that you are currently panicking over how to get back to Skyloft. You need not worry, you can use statues like those-," here she tilted her head towards a bird stature, "-to get back."

Link relaxed upon hearing this, but then began wondering how many of the aforementioned bird statues there were, and how spread out they were across the land.

"Master, you will find many of these in your travels, and be able to use them as rest points. I am able to guide you down from the sky to any of these statues you find."

"Well, that makes things easier."

* * *

Two Links stared blankly at each other. One from the islands in the sky, the other from a simple village. What was the likeliness of one being a Master, the other a Servant? The sky-dweller glanced at Fi, his servant, who then told them just what the likeliness was of that. Neither hero payed any attention to the long list of numbers she spewed at them, nor to the suddenly appearing imp-like creature telling one of them to start moving. They would much rather note the similarities and differences them.

"Hey, listen! I'm talking to you!"

Both Links snapped their heads toward her, growling deep in their throats. It seemed every Link hated those words. Apparently it Navi's torture was so irritating, it went all the way up the Chosen Hero line to one of the first.

Midna watched wide-eyed as the two slightly insane people stalked over to her. Both were visibly twitching.

"Uh, what's wrong with you two…? You're acting a little strange…"

Soon enough, the two were _right next to her._ Midna was warily watching them the whole time. Finally, they took one step too much, and were promptly smacked by her hair hand.

"Owww… That hurt, Midna! How would you like being hit by a massive hand?"

"It was your fault. If you two weren't being creepy, I wouldn't have hit you. And what else in the world could be a magical giant hand? Nothing's going to ever hit me like that, so how would I know what being hit by a massive hand is like?"

The two Links watched in silent horror as a Wallmaster floated above her. Giant, floating, _freaky_ hands were not something either Link was wishing to combat.

After a few seconds of their staring, Midna got a bit fed up.

"What are you looking at?! It's not like there's…something…above…me…"

Midna trailed off as she finally realized what was going on.

"Gah, GIANT FREAKY HAND!"

She proceeded to leap into her Link's shadow. The two heroes blinked at each other, and in total agreement, ran far, far away from the Wallmaster.

Neither stopped to think of how Midna disliked other beings having, or actually only existing as, giant hands.

* * *

 **OTHER AUTHOR'S NOTE: And FIN! Hope you enjoyed it, now so long, goodbye, see you later. Reviews are appreciated, and I do appreciate those who have reviewed. If you have an idea for something on this fic, feel free to tell me! I will do requests! Plus, I'm sort of running out of ideas here…and I want to make it to at least 10, maybe 20 chapters. I don't intend to end this whole thing soon. Please help me reach my goal!**

 **As a side-note, I kept trying to type peoply instead of people. And just tried to put insteak, not instead. Geez, that's irritating. Gah, it messed up irritating that time! I just can't win with this stupid thing... Well, if you spot something I missed, I wouldn't mind a bit of constructive criticism. Oh _sure_ , you don't mess up constructive or criticism, but things much simpler than that. The nerve!**


	10. An Offensive Question(Skyward Sword)

**AUTHOR'S NOTE: I LIVE! Clearly. Duh. Thanks Bandicoot Sauce, James Birdsong, AMaeJay, and TwentyPoundsofPlotConvenience! They have taken the time to review, and it was very much appreciated.**

 **Well, here you have two Skyward Sword ones. First, we have something based off a side quest I did recently. I…clicked an answer I didn't want and, well, yeah… I can just imagine the things that** _ **could have**_ **happened. It reminded me of a game where I chose a potentially offensive answer to something and got pushed off a tower. Poor Zael… Thanks a lot,** _ **Last Story (Wii).**_ **The only game I've played where they actually can make a character kill you in a cutscene, or they let you shove random people that shout at you. "What do you think you're doing" in a British accent. They also let you make your people fight with all-golden clothes on.**

 **Whoops, got a little off track there. The second part of this is just something I randomly thought of.**

 **DISCLAIMER: Hello, this is a red flag saying, "NO, THIS PERSON DOES NOT OWN LEGEND OF ZELDA. THEY DO OWN A DEAD BODY-I MEAN BODY PILLOW. YES, THAT IS WHAT I MEANT."**

* * *

Link was on the Surface, searching for something _interesting_ for Owlan to study. The plantmaster apparently had collected every type of plant in the sky. Link wasn't so sure of that being true, considering he hadn't seen any giant mushroom in the area. Then again, maybe that volcano shaped place was Owlan's…

Meh. It didn't matter. He really needed to focus on his plant search. It was then that he remembered Fi could help. "Fi!"

Even though he only called her name, she understood. She was special like that.

Moments later, he arrived at the hole-in-the-ground where the Kikwi's lived. Now, if he remembered correctly, there was one Kikwi who was constantly on alert for danger…

"Kew kew? What are you doing here, kew? Never mind that, do you know of any place that is actually safe? My shoulders are starting to hurt from hiding here."

Link couldn't resist. After all, he _did_ just waste hours of his life searching for a plant to give Professor Owlan. "What shoulders?"

"What shoul-WHAT SHOULDERS!? JUST BECAUSE YOU CAN'T SEE THEM DOESN'T MEAN THEY AREN'T THERE!"

Link blinked, and slowly backed away. "I'm just gonna…Yeah, bye!"

Link was out. Out like a bunny fleeing from a hungry cat in a field full of pretty pink flowers. Except he was just fleeing from a very-angry Kikwi in a hole-in-the-ground.

* * *

Some days Link felt like being a dork. Others he wanted to give people his adorable puppy dog eyes look that never failed (except with the jerk of a Water Dragon. Man, she really didn't like him). All other days, he was either a sassmaster or _very_ angry.

Today, he was particularly leaning towards being a dork. So, into dorkdom it was.

People were giving him more glances than usual today. Putting on the pink, fluffy scarf Zelda got him as a joke was, in hindsight, a bad idea. Well, it was too late to go back now. So, he strode out into the Main Plaza with a confident (read: embarrassed) look. Hopefully they would just play it off as him being a bit weirder than usual, or having cracked under the pressure and putting him in an insane asylum and _ohHyliawhydidhethinkthiswasagoodidea_! He _really_ didn't want to go back to the Academy right now, he could imagine the looks he would get from the students currently there!* But he couldn't just throw away Zelda's gift! (Even though it was just a joke.) He ran for the cave. There he could take off the scarf and put it in his Adventure Pouch, then fly to the Surface. He would never come back to Skyloft or the other sky cities**, because he had no doubt in his mind that _somehow_ word would spread. Farewell, Skyloft! Your hero will decease, but your people linger on. May my kind-of friends find solace in me once being sane!

Nobody in the sky ever saw Link again.

* * *

 **OTHER AUTHOR'S NOTE: *Headcanon that there are more people there than you think, and that the Academy actually extends underground.**

 ***Other Headcanon that there are more cities in the sky, because there have to be more Hylians left.**

 **And yes, that was indeed a Harry Potter reference at the end. By the way, the "What shoulders?" thing was what I accidently chose. Well, I** _ **say**_ **accidently… Read and review, my creatures-that-probably-won't-actually-review! Farewell!**


	11. Prison, Beetle, Loftwing(SS and TP)

**AUTHOR'S NOTE: I would like to thank the Guest for the ideas they gave me. They're the reason you guys get another chapter so soon. So, we have two Skyward Sword parts and one Twilight Princess one. We deal with Eldin Volcano erupting while trying to get the Song of the Hero, Link messing with someone, and a bird in the world of TP. Enjoy this over 1000 words chapter.**

 **DISCLAIMER: I own nada. NOTHING. NOOOOOOOTTTTTTTTTHHHHIINNNNNNNNNNG. I think you get my point.**

* * *

Great. Just great. Eldin Volcano really had it out for him. It wasn't enough to have lava and be ridiculously hot, oh no, it had to erupt and then knock him out.

You'd think he wouldn't have such horrible luck.

Now he was stuck in a prison run by Bokoblins, wondering if Ghirahim was going to show up to taunt him or…kill him.

It was then he decided to look for Heart Fruits*, because he was beat up pretty badly. He wasn't completely sure that it was all due to falling out of the sky. Link didn't really expect to get anything out of the big barrel, but he had to check. By checking, I mean weakly kicking it until it fell over and rolled into the wall. Amazingly, it actually broke.

It was then he heard…something. Something very familiar. A face sprang out of the dirt. "WHOA!" Link didn't expect that one bit. He also didn't expect to get his special gloves back. Occasionally, Link wondered why the Mogma only got him his gloves. Occasionally, he also wondered why the heck there was a hole in the prison.

He decided not to question it.

So, as Link dug his way to freedom, he muttered, "Dig dig, dig dig a tunnel, quick before the Bokoblins come…"

Nobody ever said he couldn't be a little crazy.

* * *

Hmm… Link saw Ghirahim. He wondered what the demon would do if he had something, say, a Beetle flying next to him.

He decided to find out.

"Okay, here you go Beetle, here you go." The device followed his instructions, and flew up the ramp, towards the demon perching on the dragon's head.

"What is this…annoyance!?" Ghirahim began swatting at it. Clearly, the "high and mighty" demon lord disliked bugs. Link had to stifle a chuckle. He knew that Ghirahim would put together the pieces, and realize who was messing with him. Sure, the demon would probably try to kill him again, but it would still be hilarious.

Minutes later, Link stopped harassing the creature, and walked over to begin the battle.

He almost burst into laughter when Ghirahim said, "That would put a spring in my step!" It just…sounded weird coming from a demon lord. Link had a feeling that recording this was a wonderful idea. Maybe he could show Zelda later, once he caught up to her.

Eventually, he defeated the rolling ball of pinkness, lava, and rock. It was kind of annoying, because he had to keep running to avoid being ran over or to give the thing a present. Needless to say, it didn't appreciate his presents.

Link had to wonder why it did that weird sucking thing. Was Ghirahim trying to make this easy? 'Cause it was working.

* * *

Why were there chicken things in the sky? Why were there Yeti's and Poe's on Snowpeak? The correct answer is; to make things even weirder than necessary.

But seriously, why did those chicken things (he thought they were called Oocca) live so far up? And was the cannon really necessary to get back _down_ to Hyrule?

It was times like these that reminded him of the Hero of the Sky's Sailcloth, and wished he had one. Or at least a bird of his own. Actually, who's to say he _doesn't_ have a bird?

Midna gave him a weary look when he walked to the edge of the platform they were on. "Link, what are you doing?"

"Trying to call a bird. If I get too far down, you can just catch me…right, Midna?"

Midna glanced at him uncertainly, before agreeing. "A bird would be helpful in reaching and fighting the dragon… Fine. Just don't die."

"Wouldn't dream of it. Here I go!"

He hopped off the platform, and whistled. He wasn't really sure _why_ he whistled, but he did. And he heard a response.

"Ooof!" He landed on a massive bird's back. He knew birds could be really big, but he didn't expect to ever find anything bigger than a Kargorac. From the sky, he noted that Midna had a shocked expression. Apparently she hadn't expected this. Hoped, yes, expected, no.

Link leaned on the bird, and it followed his silent instructions. The leaning was more instinctual than anything else, and Link idly wondered if it was just something that all Chosen Heroes could do.

The bird landed on the platform he had jumped off of. He hopped off to get a good look at his bird. It was strange that it was a Crimson Loftwing, exactly like the one described in the stories he'd heard of the Hero of the Sky. Link wondered how long Loftwings lived.

It cawed at him, and he patted its beak. "So Midna, what do you think?"

She was still frozen with shock. Link blinked at her, and then asked to be transformed so he could talk to his bird. She did what he asked.

 _Hello, I am Link. Who are you?_

 _I am the Crimson Loftwing, the only one in the sky._

 _Did you know any other Heroes?_

 _No, I did not. My ancestor did._

 _Huh. Well, will you help me defeat a dragon?_

 _Yes. The dragon is invading on my kind's land. It must go._

 _Okay, I'm going to transform now, so don't fly away._

 _Understood._

Link tilted his head to Midna, and she transformed him again. "Heh heh heh, who knew it would actually work? This makes our lives much easier!"

He agreed with her, although he would have appreciated getting the bird earlier. Not too long ago, he'd gotten his second Clawshot. He did love having two, but help in the battle would have been appreciated.

Hopping on the Loftwing's back, he leaned toward the area the dragon was flying over. It was time for a battle. With a Crimson Loftwing on his side, Link wasn't really worried.

* * *

 **OTHER AUTHOR'S NOTE: As much as I love Link's Loftwing, I'll always prefer Epona. Sure, the freedom in movement is wonderful, but I just really like Epona.**

 ***The Heart Fruits idea is partly from the fanfics "Heart" and "Heartless", and also from the way you get your life back on SS.**

 **Read and review people! If you give me ideas, I will do my best to use them! Good day!**


	12. Wake, Distant, Epona(TP, WW, Other)

**AUTHOR'S NOTE: Look at this, two in a day! We have a Twilight Princess, Wind Waker, and… I'm not really sure how to categorize the last one. The last two are kinda sad. Hope you guys like them!**

 **DISCLAIMER: I don't own LoZ. I do, however, own these ideas. And two cats.**

* * *

"Link." His back foot twitched.

"Link, get up." He flicked his ear.

"Link, we need to get going." He nuzzled his soft, comfy tail.

"Well, you can't say I didn't try. LINK GET UP THIS INSTANT!" His eyes shot open, and he saw Midna floating next to him, looking rather annoyed.

"Come on, we need to find the 3rd mirror shard." Link whined sadly, not wanting to leave his warm spot in the cave they spent the night in.

"…I can teleport you to the upper part of the river if you need to wake up…" At this he leapt up, and ran out of the cave. He still didn't get why the portal in the Upper Zora River had to be _right over a pool of water_. Every time he wanted to go up there and stay dry, he had to go the long way around, through the northern part of the Lanayru Province. It took forever, because that route was infested with monsters, and they weren't exactly the easy-to-kill ones.

Well, he still hated that portal. Midna had used it a few times to get him up if he was too sleepy. She had also used it when he was being too irritating by trying to buck her off. And she thought he was rude.

* * *

The King of Red Lions, also known as Mr. I-should-probably-already-be-dead, was getting bored of just…well…sitting there. He had no clue what Link was doing, but hopefully it was something productive to their quest. Even if it wasn't, he was sure he'd hear about it eventually. After all, the boy was a bit of a chatterbox. He never seemed to know when the boat-man wanted him to stop talking.

And that was quite often.

So, when the young boy in green came skipping back to the boat, and decided that it was crucial to their quest that the boat-man knew everything that happened, King-boat wondered why the goddesses hated him so much. It wasn't like he did anything horrible…except force a poor child to go on a quest that was sure to end in his death if he wasn't the right person. Well, considering Link's luck, he would probably live with some minor injuries.

It's not like the King of Red Lions cared. No, he most certainly did not care about this obnoxious child that was telling him about his amazing mail-sorting abilities. Of course he didn't care.

 _Are you sure about that? It sure seems like you care._ Leave me alone, he told his inner voice. I don't care one bit, he thought. _It seems to me that you're trying to keep yourself distant so you aren't hurt when you leave. I don't believe it's working._

King-boat did his best to ignore the voice, despite knowing just how right it was. He didn't want any more pain. He'd already lost his kingdom; he didn't need to lose a child.

Just like that child didn't need to lose a parent. Or, he thought, another parent. It was clear that somehow, Link's parents had disappeared. Sure, the child still had his grandma, but a grandparent isn't the same as a parent. Just like how a great-grandparent isn't the same as a grandparent.

Yes, he would stay distant, just to protect them. It was the only way. No matter what, they would be separated, so he should do as much as possible to keep them from hurting.

He knew that it was already too late to prevent some pain.

* * *

It was late in the fall, when he found his sweet, loyal horse. She had been a young filly at the time, and he, just a child. She had a wounded leg, and was very hesitant about letting him get near. Eventually, the pain became too much, and she laid her head on the ground. He slowly crawled over to her, and set her big head on his little legs. Eventually, his parents came looking for him, and found him in the forest, leaning his back against a tree, with an injured animal next to him. He was gently stroking her mane, trying to keep her calm. Even when he was young, he'd had a way of understanding the animals.

His parents had, understandably, been cautious about taking in the young horse. "We don't have the time, nor do we have the space." He'd already decided that he would do anything for his new friend, and so told them, "I have the time, and I can make a space!" Eventually, he managed to convince his parents that it would be beneficial to keep the filly, and so it was decided. His father helped him build a place near the house to keep her. His mother asked him, "What are you going to name her?" This, he immediately had an answer to. "Epona!" His mother looked slightly surprised at her son coming up with a name so quickly, but then just looked amused. "Epona, huh? It's a good name, Link."

They now had a horse, and Link was glad he'd convinced his parents to keep her. She was incredibly helpful, for work, transportation, and other things. His family wouldn't have been able to buy a horse (they were very expensive, and his family wasn't exactly the richest), yet they had one. All the villagers were confused whenever they saw such a poor family with such a beautiful creature. Eventually, they got used to it, but many asked how they got her. Whenever questioned, Link just smiled, and kept walking. Epona was his horse, and his most loyal friend. Nothing else mattered.

* * *

 **OTHER AUTHOR'S NOTE: I can imagine Midna doing something like that, and Link just wanting to sleep. On the second, it made me think of how I never knew either of my grandma's. Well, I guess you can't really mourn what you never had… The third part is just me thinking about the ways Link and Epona could have met.**

 **Pleeeeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaase review! Please, with ice cream and cookies? And maybe a cherry?**


	13. Of Cows and Houses(Ocarina of Time)

**AUTHOR'S NOTE: Hello to my readers, and sorry for not putting something up sooner. I was distracted by school and other stuff. Don't expect anything else soon. This one is an Ocarina of Time one, because I finally got that game for the 3DS! Also, this Link has bad luck with cows, doesn't he?**

 **DISCLAIMER: No, I do not own OoT. Get your head out of that suspiciously fairy-less jar! I need to go to a spring and stick one in it! By the way, I put some of Malon's actual lines in here, which I don't own either.**

* * *

Staring blankly at the cow was accomplishing nothing. Navi yelling very loudly in his ear was doing the same. Link really just didn't care about anything other than how in Farore's name the cow got into his house. He was inexplicably drawn into a flashback of how he won the creature.

 _It was late into the afternoon when Link decided to pay Lon Lon Ranch a visit. He figured Epona would like going home. Distantly, he noted that Ingo was going on about how lucky he was to be working at the ranch. For the most part, Link was focusing on Malon's singing. He led Epona over to her._

" _How about trying your skill with Epona on an obstacle course?"_

 _Naturally, he agreed. It was a challenge that for once wasn't potentially deadly! How could he? At the end of the two laps, he went over to Malon to see what his time was._

" _Wow! Great! Your time was 0:47! You and Epona are a great team!"_

 _It was then that she informed him that the prize was too big to give him right then and that it would be waiting at his house. He wondered how she figured out where he lived, and then dismissed it in favor of glaring at Navi who wouldn't stop telling him to listen. He would ask her later._

Now, days after creating a new record, he understood what his prize was. A cow. Somehow, Malon had managed to get it into his house. His house which you had to use a ladder to enter! How the heck did it get up there!? Never mind that, how did Malon know where he lived!?

…Maybe he shouldn't question this. Otherwise his mind would break. After all, it wouldn't be the first time he'd found a strange place a cow had reached. Like all those times cows were stuck in holes in Hyrule Field and other places, or the one locked away in Impa's house. He still wondered about that sometimes. Did it commit a crime? Was it…a spy for Ganondorf?! But that cow had been there for seven years, since the start of dear ol' Ganny's rule! Wait a minute…if that cow was a spy, then his might be too!

Link shot a fire arrow at the bovine creature. It reflected off and flew out the door.

He swung his sword at it. The very sharp weapon bounced off and made a dent in his floor.

Apparently explosions didn't hurt it either. His bomb was wasted, and his house decimated.

"WHY WON'T YOU DIE!?"

It seemed to be an immortal spy cow. Link screamed in frustration and left Kokiri Woods. He never entered his house again.

* * *

 **OTHER AUTHOR'S NOTE: Ah yes, the cows will never die Link. They will haunt you forever! GAH HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Seriously though, even in Majora's Mask they're there… Creepy. Oh, Link will be needing a new house after this… Also want to thank ChangelingRin for using my idea in Dimensional Links, you know, the one about a cow in a hole.**


	14. Fairies? and Masks(WW, MM)

**AUTHOR'S NOTE: Why, hello people. How beith youith today…ith? Yeah, I don't really know. Hope your day/night is going all right. Or at least better than mine…stupid sore throat. By the way, I'm thinking about actually never ending this. It's a good way to get out my ideas about the games. Of course, that means that chapters will either be few and far between, or really fast.**

 **Okay, this one starts off with Wind Waker, ends on Majora's Mask. Majora's Mask is more or less after the final battle, and Link is just running around getting stuff before heading off to Hyrule.**

 **DISCLAIMER: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO. I do not own LoZ. Period, end of story…or beginning.**

* * *

Link had reached a conclusion. The King of Red Lions, or KoRL, was actually a bunch of fairies. The fairies were inside the boat, and told what to do by the goddesses or the mythical Fairy Queen. Nothing else made sense. At least he could kind of understand that, because fairies were magical, and as a whole, Hylians didn't know much about the creatures. Well, there was Tingle, but Link didn't really want to interact with him more than necessary. Plus, he wasn't sure how much of the weirdo's information was based on a hallucination. Seriously, what was wrong with that guy? He not only obsessed over fairies, but basically enslaved some people! Not cool, dude. Get a life, one that doesn't disturb others as much. Agh.

Ignoring that, Link had a way to prove his theory about KoRL right. He was going to stare at the boat-man from a high point using Aryll's telescope. With any luck, he would see fairy dust coming out of KoRL. As one of the many Links, his luck was spectacular and horrible. Hopefully, it would be good on this day.

Staring, watching, leaning, relaxing, nodding off. That was the progression of Link's observation over the boat. Ever so slowly, his eyes drifted shut…

"SQUAAAAAWK!"

"Gah!" It was a seagull that woke him up. Maybe it wanted its spot back. Well, whatever the case, Link was not going to prove or disprove any theories today. Perhaps another time.

"SQUUUUUUAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAWK!"

* * *

Today was a day to think. Or at least that's what he wanted to do. Currently? He was running like a whole tribe of Gorons were behind him. Of course, that was due to the mask he was wearing, one of his transformation ones. Naturally, the spirit had to be the most popular guy in the not-so-snowy-now city. He couldn't just be another face in the crowd. Nope, had to be very well-known.

As he fled from the hordes of rock-people, he contemplated how he came to get the masks. His Goron one was from a dead guy, and so was his Zora one. The Deku Scrub mask…probably the same. But what about his Fierce Deity mask? Where did that come from…or rather, who? It was basically a larger Hylian form, but who's soul made it up?

It was no doubt better for his mind not to dwell on it. Just like every other odd thing in Termina. Although, some things were the same as in Hyrule. One example would be the odd cows, and another would be the eccentric people, who were nearly the same as their counterparts in Hyrule.

He had a hunch that he was in an alternate dimension or something. But in that case, what happened to the other him? Unless…he was multiple people…all of whom were now dead…

Yeah, it was better not to think about it. Maybe that's why Termina did its best to keep him busy, to prevent him from thinking. Huh. Well, thank you Termina.

* * *

 **OTHER AUTHOR'S NOTE: Yes, I am very aware that this was short. Well, here is where I say goodbye. Until next time, my readers! Please leave a review so I can know what you guys want more of! It really helps if you leave me ideas too, but just leaving a tiny note is fine too!**


	15. DIE SPORKS(Skyward Sword)

**AUTHOR'S NOTE: Hi. Umm, I have no idea where this came from, other than my suddenly remembered hatred of sporks. So…yeah. This takes place in Skyward Sword, and I'm not sure if I got all of the names right because I haven't played it in a while. Also, this is one of my really short ones.**

 **DISCLAIMER: I disclaim my claim. My claim is that I own LoZ. So, I claim that I don't claim LoZ. HAH! Also, reviews are hoped for and appreciated. Ideas even more so.**

* * *

The thing wasn't going away. It stubbornly insisted on existing, and being a failure of a creation.

This thing was…a spork.

A disgraceful mixture of a spoon and fork, it completely and epically fails at accomplishing either of its proposed actions. It is incapable of scooping up spoonfuls of soup, or piercing a simple tomato. Why was such a thing created? Why do schools insist on purchasing such horrible things?

Link didn't know. He was going to find out. But first…recruiting.

You don't bring an issue as big as this to the Headmaster alone. So, Link elbowed Zelda to get her attention, and tilted his head towards the…thing.

"…Let me guess, you don't like sporks? Well, we only have them because we can't afford spoons and forks, silly. Don't tell me you want to start a rebellion against them… Of course you do. Well, here goes nothing."

Standing up, Zelda yelled, "STUDENTS! SPORKS ARE A DISGRACE TOWARDS SOCIETY! WILL YOU STAND WITH ME TO DESTROY THE ACCURSED THINGS?!"

All of the students, even Fledge, rose from their seats. "YES WE WILL!"

"STUDENTS, REPEAT AFTER ME! SPORKS ARE POINTLESS, AND WE REFUSE TO USE THEM!"

Every student did as told. Interestingly enough, Henya joined in. Her reason was that it was difficult to stir soup with a tiny plastic mixture of a fork and spoon.

"STUDENTS, JOIN ME IN OUR MARCH TO FREE OURSELVES FROM THESE THINGS!"

"YES MA'AM!"

Shouting, the entire student body (roughly 8 people) and Henya exited the lower doors. Headmaster Gaebora stormed through the upper ones, shouting, "WHAT IS THIS MADNESS?!"

"THE REVOLT AGAINST SPORKS! WE WANT SPOONS AND FORKS, NOT A MIXTURE OF THEM!"

Blinking in confusion and slight fear of the mass which had somehow gathered everyone in the town, Gaebora gave in to the wishes of the many, despite his wants to save money.

ONE YEAR LATER…

"So…hungry… No food…"

"And this is why we should've kept the sporks. We can't live on pumpkins for our whole lives."

"Dang it…Link… Your fault… All of it…"


	16. Ruto and Cows(Ocarina of Time)

**AUTHOR'S NOTE: Hiya. How're you guys doin'? I don't care. Yes, I am being rude. Hmph. Soooooo, this one's a really short Ocarina of Time one, and inspired by RandomObserver42. Thanks for your review! See, I can thank people for reviews… Those of you who haven't reviewed, please do so.**

 **DISCLAIMER: No. This is a petulant no.**

* * *

 _Squish. Squish. Squish. Squish. MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO._

 _Squish? Mooooo. Squish squish squish squish squish._

 _Moo._

 _Squish._

Link stared at the cow. The cow stared back.

"Moooooooooooo."

Navi came out of Link's hat. "Well, it seems happy, so we should just leave it alone…"

"Mooooooooooooooooooooo." It seemed the cow agreed with her.

"Ooooookay then..."

Link cautiously left the…room? Yeah. Link cautiously left the room in Jabu-Jabu's belly.

* * *

Not too long after that, he happened upon a very irritating person. A very irritating person who just happened to be named Princess Ruto. For some unfathomable reason, she insisted on sitting on his head. "It's a royal custom," she claimed.

 _Custom my butt,_ Link thought. Why in the world would any royal want to sit on someone's head?

 _Well, at least there's one positive to this. You can run them into low doorways!_

Ruto wouldn't know what hit her.

Off in the corner, a cow mooed in joy as it watched that annoying fish-girl shriek as she hit part of a wall.

"HEY! THAT IS NO WAY TO TREAT A-"

 _WHAM!_

"OW!"


	17. When Your Wallet Is Full(SS, TP, OoT)

**AUTHOR'S NOTE: Guess who's back? No, not that chair, or the wallpaper…or the cat…or those tuffets (yes, I meant tuffets, go look it up)…or that man-eating tiger… It's ME! Muahahahahaa!**

… **So yeah, I'm alive and returning to my beloved fanfics. ONWARDS! This one will start with Skyward Sword, followed by Twilight Princess, and finished with Ocarina of Time. If these things ever happened to you, I sympathize greatly. On every LoZ game I've played, this has happened to me.**

 **DISCLAIMER: No, I do not own LoZ, or the universe. I do, however, own my master plan to take over the world! HAHAHAHAHA-hack hack, pain, suffering, nooooooooooooo! Also, this idea came from one of my reviewers, kellycfan, so thanks for the review and idea! Note to people, I do use reviews for chapters!**

* * *

Link stared blankly at the chest. _Please be anything but a rupee, please! My wallet is full, I don't need more rupees!_

Slowly, warily, he opened it.

Naturally, it had to be a golden rupee.

 _Dangit, I ask for one thing, ONE THING, and what do I get? A freaking gold rupee! Seriously, Hylia?!_

Link sighed. Oh well, there was nothing he could do other than throw it away.

Silently, Fi watched in confusion as he tossed it off the edge of the floating island. She wondered why he didn't simply put it back into the chest and come back for it later.*

"Master," she politely asked, "why didn't you simply leave it here to collect once your wallet isn't full?"

Link blinked at her. "Because that's not how it works. And the creators," at this point he gestured towards the sun, "want to make life more difficult than it has to be."

Fi was 97% sure he was saying that merely because he didn't want to admit that he'd never thought of it before.

"…Understood, Master."

* * *

Ah-hah! There it was! After hours of scouring the temple for the last chest marked on the map, he had found it! Now, hopefully it would have a useful item instead of rupees…

He brutally kicked the chest open.

And what did he see, but a red rupee? Cue the mysterious voice!

" _This is a red rupee; it's worth 20 green ones!"_

"Seriously? I came all this way to find the last chest on this chunk of land in the sky**, and this is what I get? I can't even keep it! Ugh, whatever, I'll just come back to get it some other time..."

He heard Midna laughing at him, and scowled. How rude.

Link irritably shoved the red rupee back into the chest he had found, and stalked off, looking eerily similar to his furry counterpart as he did so.

"Heheh heh!"

"Shut up, Midna."

* * *

Happily, Link skipped towards the chest. He had a good feeling about this one! It had to have something amazing in it!

Eagerly shoving it open, his face dropped into a look of heart-breaking disappointment at what he found.

" _Oh, bad luck! You only got a green rupee, the lowest valued rupee."_

Navi flew out of his hat. "Oh, that's disappointing. Hey Link! HEY, LISTEN! Go spend some rupees on potions or something, then come back and get it!"

Link gave her a haunted look.

"…There is no coming back to already opened chests and shattered hopes."

"…"

"…"

"…Okay...?"

* * *

 **AUTHOR'S NOTE: AAAAAAND, CUT! Alright, how'd you guys like that? Is it halfway decent? If not, I blame it on Finals week coming up soon… If it's better than before, that's probably due to me doing a word processing competition for FBLA (Future Business Leaders of America) and placing 3** **rd** **in the state. Whoo! Sadly, on the trip to take the test, several people from my school got sick and started throwing up. Blegh.**

 **Okay, so here we go for the * thingys:**

 ***On Skyward Sword, they don't let you put the rupees back into the chests. *Cries* All those wasted rupees… Seriously, the one time, ONE TIME I have a full wallet, I get a golden rupee. WHAT THE HECK HYLIA?!**

 ****If you can't figure it out, TP Link is at the temple in the sky, you know, the one with the freaky looking Ooccoo things? Did I even spell that right?**


	18. Traveling Takes Forever(TP, SS, WW, OoT)

**AUTHOR'S NOTE: Well, hope you guys have had a great summer so far! I know I have! Went to Georgia for the first (and probably only) time. It was really humid there. Also went to an amusement park called Silverwood, which is in Idaho. Gotta love Aftershock and Spin Cycle, the best rides there!**

 **DISCLAIMER: Onwards to the disclaimer, where I declare that no, I do not own LoZ. I do own several adorable little cows though, one of which is named Skippy. SO CUTE!**

 **This time around, we get to remember just how much fun traveling is on Legend of Zelda. Isn't it so exciting? (Not sure if I'm being sarcastic there or not...) Deserts, volcanoes, forests, and lovely fields to frolic in! What more could we ask for? Prepare for Twilight Princess, Skyward Sword, Wind Waker, and Ocarina of Time.**

* * *

 ** _Twilight Princess_**

Travelling across a desert was not fun. Nor was it easy.

Link decided that, after spitting out a mouthful of sand for the 22nd time that he hated deserts. Getting sand everywhere wasn't enough, oh no, there also had to be freaky little sand worm things that attacked every five minutes. And naturally, it was unbearably hot. Also why the heck were there random chasms everywhere? It was like they were there just to say, "NO, YOU CANNOT CROSS HERE. TAKE THE LONG WAY AROUND."

Seriously.

Link hated the Gerudo desert.

Also, could someone explain to him how the Eldin Bridge had ended up here? And why the Great Fairy happened to be stuck in the cave underneath it, stranded with hundreds of monsters that wanted his head on a pike?

Sometimes he wondered why he even tried to understand Hyrule. A small part of him really missed Ordon, because at least things made sense there.

Midna just laughed at him. Lucky her, she didn't have to deal with the sand or sun.

* * *

 _ **Skyward Sword**_

Why did he have the feeling that he wouldn't be the only person who would have to deal with temples that were for some reason built into volcanoes?

Well, he pitied whoever else had to deal with them. They were not fun to deal with. Not only did you have the lava just waiting for you to fall in, but you also had tons of fire-themed monsters.

Why? Just…why?

Apparently the overwhelming heat in the volcano alone wasn't enough. Nope, gotta add the fiery bats for an extra element of _scorch_.

Thanks a lot, whoever made this place. You really outdid yourself. Lava glob things, fiery bats, lizards with attitude, frogs that spat fire, and rivers of lava. Wonderful overdose of all things heat-related, right?

He was going to have burns for _weeks_ after this.

Hopefully the next place he needed to go was a little cooler.

(Unfortunately, as he soon found out, his next temple would be smack dab in the middle of a burning desert with lots of quicksand. Fun.)

* * *

 ** _Wind Waker_**

Huh. A forest inside a tree. Who would've thought that was even possible?

Some part of him wondered if the Great Deku Tree that sent him over to this island temple made of a forest inside a tree was old enough to remember the Hero of Time. It certainly looked like it.

Well, time for fun. Maybe he'd get a chance to use this cool leaf to fly again!

*Several Hours Later*

He was never going to use that leaf again. Aiming it to shoot gusts of air at stuff was difficult at the best of times, and impossible when being chased by spinny creatures of death. And of course, it was ridiculously hard to use just to enter the temple.

Part of him shuddered at the memory of falling so many times just because he didn't time his jump right, or forgetting to change the wind direction, or due to those stupid spinny things that were just in the way…

Though, they were kinda cute when you ignore the part of them that actually spins.

Oh, butterfly thing with a rocket for a butt!

And ewwwwwwwwww, that's where those spiky things come from?! Gross!

Hey, a new item! He always wanted a boomerang!

…This thing is fun to throw.

HA, take that spinny things! Ooh, a vine? Let's cut it!

Forests were fun.

* * *

 _ **Ocarina of Time**_

Link looked out into the massive Hyrule Field. He saw the castle on the opposite side.

Great, now he had to cross this. Without a horse.

Wonderful.

Time to start walking.

*Nighttime*

Where did that skeleton thing come from? Did it seriously just crawl out of the ground?!

He would never be able to look at the land again. Did this mean that there were just skeletons buried down below?

Well, at least they only popped up at night.

* * *

 **OTHER AUTHOR'S NOTE: In retrospect, this probably would have been better if I just used Twilight Princess, because I know that game better. Also, it's my favorite. Eh, whatever.** **This chapter felt really short, and I'll try to make them longer.**

 **So, do you guys have any ideas you want as a chapter? Feel free to give ideas! Any are appreciated!**

 **Also, if you have questions for why I portray a specific Link in the way I do, feel free to ask. I do have reasons for each one.**


	19. Farewell and Morals?(Skyward Sword)

**AUTHOR'S NOTE: So, apparently I'm still alive. Hallelujah and all that. I had a fever that was over 103 degrees, and am still surprised that it got that high. At least I had an excuse to miss school. Hope you guys had a wonderful Thanksgiving if you celebrate it!**

 **DISCLAIMER: Nope, I own nothing. Probably a good thing, I get some weird ideas sometimes… Anyways, this chapter is all Skyward Sword stuff, the first one involving **SPOILER ALERT** Fi being put to sleep, the second just wondering about Link's morals.**

* * *

Despite all of his complaints about her over the course of their journey (because that was what it was, no matter what anyone said, _their_ journey), he was going to miss her.

After spending who-knows-how-long in her company, it was only natural.

Saying goodbye, knowing he's never going to see one of his closest friends, his only companion throughout all the trials he had been through, was going to be nearly impossible.

Sure, she said that they might meet again in another lifetime, but that wasn't _this_ one. He would never see her again.

It hurt. But because he knew the others were only a few feet back, he refused to cry.

Who knows what Groose would say now, even though they had declared an unofficial truce? And while he was sure that Impa would stay quiet, he was sure she would notice. Zelda…he didn't want to worry her more. She'd already had a bad enough day.

Part of him still wanted to break down and just start crying. What Fi was asking him to do…he didn't want to do it. He didn't want to be the reason that she would be trapped forever with that _monster_ , didn't want to _abandon_ one of his friends.

But it was his duty. As a Knight of Skyloft, as a Hero of the Surface, and as Hylia's Chosen, and as Fi's friend, he had a duty to put her to eternal sleep.

An eternal sleep which was essentially a death sentence. And yet, Fi accepted this as her fate, and if she could do it, so could he. It was his job.

He drove the Master Sword into the stone.

It was done. Never again would he see her floating around, or hear her somewhat helpful advice.

Their partnership was over.

He turned, and walked back down the steps, to Zelda and the others.

Zelda just watched him, knowing how upset he was at the loss of his companion. Once again, she cursed the plan Hylia-no, she-made. It was so unfair that even after winning a battle that nobody else could have won that he had to face such loss. Especially when she had her suspicions about there being another one who would soon leave them…

* * *

Sometimes, he had to wonder if he was actually the hero everyone was starting to believe he was. This wasn't really due to feelings of inadequacy, or fear, but rather due to past actions.

One of which was bringing a Kikwi up from the Surface to be examined. He really wondered if the poor thing missed its friends down below. Or if it just hated being looked at all the time by weird professors.

To be fair though, he needed the Gratitude Crystals to help out Batreaux.

Still. It seemed a bit…immoral.

Not to mention bringing up the Mogma for free labor. It didn't seem too thrilled about being stuck on a little island floating hundreds of miles from home.

Sure, it didn't mind that much now, but he worried that it was partially due to it just getting used to being there only for free labor. It didn't even have a house to live in!

Storms in the sky weren't exactly fun. Ever try flying during a storm? Don't. It won't end well. Between the heavy rain, extreme wind, and unpredictable lightning, it was ridiculously dangerous.

That poor Mogma was not going to be very happy once storm season came around.

* * *

 **OTHER AUTHOR'S NOTE: So how painful was the reading this time? I hope it's better than the first few ones… I was listening to the music for Fi's goodbye, so that's where it came from. The storm thing was just a random thought I had. Seriously, they must have some nasty storms up there. Maybe that's what happened to Link's parents… Huh. Also, has anyone ever been in a plane when there's a storm? 'Cause I can tell you, it's not fun. Turbulence. Also, this is probably going to be one of my last few chapters. I'll probably start a new fic for Breath of the Wild.**


	20. Creatures and Zelda is Confused(BoTW)

**AUTHOR'S NOTE: I have returned. This is my first Breath of the Wild chapter, so beware spoilers people who do not have the game! This chapter features: horses being very mean to Link, Ganny and Zellie being confused, the first death of Link (no, as in the player messing up horribly, not the other thing), and weird pictures taken by Link (why bud, why?).**

 **DISCLAIMER: Nope, I do not own Legend of Zelda. Nor do I own…something…I really can't think of anything. Just read.**

* * *

IN WHICH A HORSE ATTEMPTS MURDER. RUDE LITTLE HORSIE.

Link was watching. He was watching very intently.

You see, he had recently decided that he wanted to get a super-fast horse, because all of his other ones had mediocre speed. Unfortunately, the first horse he captured was brutally killed by a moblin, who proceeded to laugh in Link's face.

That moblin met a very violent and painful end.

The second fast equine he caught…was a very ugly one. He ended up getting rid of it because he couldn't stand its face.

The third, he hoped, would live longer, and be prettier.

He hoped.

Luckily, he just found another super-fast horse. This one was red, with a cream mane, white socks, and a marking on its forehead.

Link definitely wanted this one.

Sadly, he did not plan out his approach very well, and the creature ran away, towards a certain cliff where Link had seen many horses fall off of.

 _No_ , he thought furiously, _this one will NOT die on me_!

Apparently this one was a smart horse, because it stopped right next to the edge, just barely avoiding going over.

Link smelled victory. He sprinted up to the horse's side, and leaped-

-only to be met with a hoof to the face and a very long, painful fall to the bottom of the cliff. Ouch.

But this would not be the end of it, he decided, no, he was going to get that horse no matter what!

Painstakingly, he climbed back up the cliff. The foolish creature, thinking he had died, still stood nearby. Naturally, Link chased it down. After many painful, tiring minutes of running everywhere on the field near the cliff, he finally, _finally_ , caught it.

For the pain it caused him, he named it Agonie*.

* * *

TIS TIME FOR CONFUSION! (Because over the course of 100 years, they had to have had at least a few conversations, and ended up having a weird frenemy thing going on.)

Zelda and Ganon were confused. Both knew they had sensed the hero enter the castle, but for some reason…he just left.

Ganon was, perhaps, even more confused that Zelda, because none of the previous heroes he had encountered ever left the castle without challenging him. Maybe being forced to sleep for 100 years had taught this hero to be more cautious?

Or not, because the hero just came back into the castle. And, from what Ganon could tell, he was moving very quickly too. Hmm. Had he brought a horse with him? A foolish endeavor. The creature would doubtlessly be killed by one of the Guardians circling the castle.

Zelda and Ganon frowned at the sound of a roar. The only creature that could make a sound similar to that would be…a Lynel. After hearing their cries for a century, though, the two seriously doubted that it was one that roared.

Another roar, this one was much closer to the Sanctum.

"Ganon," Zelda questioned, "what on earth could that be?"

He had the same question. He also had a guess that, due to how unlikely it was, was almost certainly wrong. "That, Princess, sounded like a bear."

"Whatever would a bear be doing here!?"

"I have no idea. But it seems that Link is getting closer, so let's focus on the battle for now. You, Princess, are going to fail, and your precious hero will finally be dead. I'd recommend preparing for that."

"Speak for yourself, Ganon. You are the one who will be destroyed, once and for all!"

Once more, a roar rang out. This time, however, it was at the entrance to the Sanctum.

"Link, what are you doing!?"

"…Seriously, hero? A bear?! That's cheating, I call foul! Rematch!"

Yes, they were seriously confused, because for whatever reason, Link had ridden a bear into Hyrule Castle.**

* * *

IN WHICH LINK HAS ANOTHER VERY HARD FALL. OUCH.

Ahh, to be free in a completely new world. Isn't it exciting? New things, new food, and new places to explore! Or not, because I'm pretty sure that that's the Temple of Time over there. Well. Maybe it has something interesting on the top! We can climb now, surely there's a way to use that ability here.

Climbing, climbing, gotta keep climbing… Oh, a new bow! Score! Now I just have to climb down… Oh god. This isn't going to end well, is it. Careful Link, careful! You're gonna-

-not be fine, apparently. Ouch, no, don't hit that beam, no, nonononononon-

-well. First death. That looked very painful; I most certainly never want to fall through a hole in the ceiling. I think he broke his everything. Sorry bud. Uh, better luck next time?

* * *

ZELLIE GETS THE SHEIKAH SLATE BACK AND LOOKS AT THE PICTURES. SHE IS SOMEWHAT DISTURBED AND AMUSED.

It had been two months since the defeat of Calamity Ganon. While she missed the interesting conversations she had with Ganon on things such as ethics ("You can't just KILL everyone who disagrees with you, Ganon!" "Why not? They gave me control over their lives, it's their own fault." "They trusted you to PROTECT their lives, not END them!" "Well, they should have thought about that before giving me total control."), it was nice to be outside in the sun again. Being able to admire the flowers whenever you want to is wonderful. This time, she even brought the Sheikah Slate to take pictures of them!

Or, she would, if it had any memory left for the photos. Time to delete some.

The second she looked at the first picture, she realized that Link had taken some really weird ones. In one, he was, for some reason, dressed as a female Gerudo! What was he up to with that getup?! Another showed him surrounded by bokoblins that were…dancing? And why was he wearing a fake bokoblin head?

Zelda had questions. She was going to get answers.

* * *

 **OTHER AUTHOR'S NOTE: And thus, Zellie gets the story of what Link** _ **really**_ **did before entering Hyrule Castle. Oh dear. *Yes, I know the actual spelling is Agony, but I liked my version more. So it stays. **You could do this, but I haven't yet. Someday though… Also, how do you guys feel about the Zelda/Ganon conversations? I really had those because otherwise that part would be boring and empty, so did the conversation there work? Give me feedback! Bye guys!**


End file.
